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notes for monitorface 2

‘Oiiii, WANKER!!’

from over the road a group of hooded children screamed venomously at him.

At the back of his mind he desperately wished to project an image of a skinhead, spider web tattoo engraved across his grotesquely violent face, lips pursed, with his two front teeth jutting between his creased lips, thrusting a thick middle finger viciously into the air. He knew better, his mother had warned him to avoid confrontation, his bulbed glass visage was too fragile. He thumbed the small chip in the glass of his cheek, a reminder of how easily he could be damaged. He hung his heavy head, pulling it down into his collar, trying to hide himself away like a turtle retreating into his shell.

‘Don’t listen to them’ A gentle voice said, he slowly levered his face up to see the owner of the voice, a young woman, her oatmeal hair cascading across the heavy, square, black frames of her spectacles. ‘Don’t listen to them, they’re scared of what they don’t understand’.

Monitorface slowly tilted his screen, he had never seen anyone quite like this before. The frames of her glasses seemed to echo the shape of his head, he could see his own reflection within her bottle thick lenses, she wore a faded ‘ET phone home’ t-shirt, black drainpipes and a battered pair of airwalk trainers, she was beautiful.

His face stalled, momentarily image-less, a thick white line flickered across the centre of his screen as if in freeze frame. He felt awkward, flashes of static dancing and flickering, he hoped he didn’t accidentally broadcast anything obscene, or a garish like a bold red love-heart. Searching his database he hastily settled on the Andrex puppy gaily tossing bog roll along a laminate floor. She giggled, pushing her frames up past the bridge of her nose with her grubby index finger.

My name’s Megan, but they call me videogirl, i’m pleased to meet you.

Monitorface looked over the road, the hooded kids had long lost interest, their attention turned to a hugely fat man on a segway.

He proudly displayed his name, this he had cultivated over a number of years, a vintage Amstrad moulded VDU for the first syllable, for the second a comic pictogram showing mount rushmore and cliff richard with a red cross over his face. He had grown tired of showing a TV set followed by a happy emoticon, his name was not ‘screensmile’ or ‘telvisionhappy’, he had worked on this introduction and had defined it to the point where….. ‘Monitorface!’ she giggled excitedly, in return he beamed an image of a broadly smiling cartoon character, Mr Happy.

Categories: Uncategorized

scrapbook from the near future *1

1) sad magic

2) The air was thick with the sound of ringtones, email and sms alerts.

It makes me feel itchy; transmitted words buzzing in the air like flying ants on a humid August day.

3) First reality murder investigation show… a group of anonymous contestants are selected to commit a murder, the winner is the one who successfully evades detection. However, the format soon proved unworkable due to the contestants refusal to stay unidentified. Choosing to giving themselves up quickly to gain maximum media coverage.

4) a hung parliament.

5) The religion commonly known as space voodoo has it’s origins in the beliefs of the first settlers.

Some of the principles of the religion were based on practical guidance to enable survival in unfamiliar surroundings.

Others were profoundly inhuman.

6) Giant snail of unknown origin devours isle of wight….. realllly sllloooowlllyyyyyyy.

7) We had fallen hopelessly behind the European directive, with a lack of both engineers and industry England’s answer to the android and robot directive was to populate the service and retail industries with the primitive hydraulic characters. Characters that had, years ago, populated ancient theme parks.

Going into the city now had the distinct ambiance of a clapped out fun-fair, shop assistants and waiters clumsily flopping forward on their primitive mechanical limbs, offering to ‘assist you’ in poorly recorded emotionless, electronic monologue.

8) This system will be actuated by the sunrise.

some new superstitions

  1. never format more than twenty cells at one time.
  2. Shuffling past three songs in a row on your mp3 walkman will cause you sorrow for the rest of the day.
  3. To tell your future write down the tag line from three consecutive TV adverts seen between 1AM and 2AM.
  4. wishes made on an antique satellite falling to earth will come true.
  5. People with aol emails are not to be trusted.
  6. Don’t use a yellow font colour.
  7. If you download a corrupt file, delete it and run a virus checker or bad luck may befall your computer.
  8. It is unlucky to have the numbers 7 or 9 in your pin number.
  9. Don’t comment on your own blog.
  10. Eleven point lists will bring bad luck.
Categories: Uncategorized

Notes for ‘the life and radio times of monitorface’

He

Born on the of the 1st April 2009, digital switchover day, Monitorface left the womb transmitting a test card signal. On the clear black glass of his boat, a smiling girl writing on a chalkboard, holding a clown doll.

His hand, cruelly fused with a remote control, required two double AA batteries before it began to work.

Later in life he learned that by flexing the knuckle on his index finger he could display images that expressed his thoughts and emotions. At first he could only display basic needs, a still from an SMA advert when he needed feeding, a pampers add for changing.

As he grew he countered his lack of audio through the use of complex images, supplementing his vocabulary with freeze-frames from cheap soaps or horror movies. He managed to overcome his shyness in school by acting the class clown, using re-runs of ‘Only fools and horses’, ‘fawlty towers’ and ‘Rentaghost’.

This aside, he suffered from a tirade of scorn and derision on the streets of Walford, his home town.

She

Conceived in a video shop, square eyes spent her childhood sat one foot from the family TV set, glued to a heady diet of feature length animation such as the ‘The Last Unicorn’ and ‘The Phantom Toolbooth’.

At the age of six she was fitted for her first set of glasses, by the age of 18 the heavy, black rimmed spectacles she wore needed perfectly straight vertical and horizontal rims to support the weight of glass held within. The shape of her frames giving credence to her Mother’s constant warning, ‘if you keep watching that you’ll get square eyes’.

Categories: Uncategorized

pulp sci-fi tiles #1

Captain Detritus and the adventures of the
tomorrow vehicle.

Bloodlust of the Bingowomen.

Captain Detritus and his trail by bokashi.

duct #895.

spellbound on planet Gastrapoda 9.

Steeljaw versus Glassjaw.

Captain Detritus and the thrombin inhibitor.

Shindengen K1V.

Categories: Uncategorized

Biography of a portable TV

Manufactured in a small electronics corporation factory on the outskirts of Osaka Japan. Assembly performed piecemeal by various company employees. Birth.

Shipped from Osaka to the UK in a container by a shipping magnate, delivered to Tandy’s in romford Essex in an unmarked white luton. The road trip.

Purchased for family home by access ‘your flexible friend’. Several years spent in a family Kitchen, it’s first period of use was confined to morning news during the preparation of breakfast and evening news during the preparation of dinner. The travel and weather years.

Passed onto the family’s teenage son, watched ‘late on a school night’. Showing late night Channel 4, Ghosts in the Machine, Max Headroom. The 80′s sci-fi years.

Passed onto the family’s daughter. Used for watching episodes of Friends on VHS, drowned out by the sound of a hairdryer. The 90′s rom-com years.

Passed back to the family’s son where it was used as a Video mixing monitor. The creative years.

Thrown in a skip. No content. A rubbish time.

Removed from skip by passing stranger. Used as a portal to contact spirits of the dead. The psychic years.

Picked up in a house clearance. The Cash Converter years.

Purchased for household kitchen use. A year of de-ja-vous.

Following the digital switchover it was abandoned on a street corner. No picture. The wilderness years.

Picked up by a vagrant, placed in a shopping trolley. Content purely based around the delusions and hallucinations of new owner. Current – the asylum years.

Categories: Uncategorized

schematic for the use (practice) of magic

spell 4_user guide

On this day 28th May

On this day in history

Today is a very special day upon which we can commemorate and commiserate the occurrence of the following.

i) Professor Kazuko Sato discovers the ultimate disease©.

ii) Emmy award winning actor Tom Faulk whispers his final punchline in sitcom ‘Monkey and me’™, after 115 consecutive, Emmy award winning seasons.

iii) Black Tuesday.

iv) Rane Joiner Singer of hits ‘Jpeg of you’ and ‘blue flowers on the heath’ dies aged 35.

v) Sparky℠ the snail becomes the first member of the Gastropoda family to be born with an innate and sophisticated religious belief system.

vi) Dr. Karl McNamara inventor of the watching-machine® born.

vii) Doug Hennings Director of ‘Sunrise over Dollis Hill’ dies aged 54.

viii) November 1st pronounced winter bank holiday (London UK).

X) Professor Kazuko Sato debunks the formula for the ultimate antidote©.

Categories: mundane sf, Uncategorized

Notes for a sad ballad for a Starlet – The Story of Rane Joiner.

Rane Joiner grew up in South East London, her Mother recalls a story of how one day the young Rane Joiner came running in from the garden with tears in her eyes, ‘Mummy she said I have seen my future’. Rane never told her Mother what she had seen, however it was soon after this that Rane began singing.

It was some 29 years later at the age of 34 this event was immortalised in the heart wrenching file ‘I saw my future and now I can’t stop (crying)’.

The final interview with Jim ‘smooth’ Daniels 2027.

FB: Your sound is quite unmistakable, how did it first develop?

JSD: I remember one day sitting in a cafe, I had serious block over what to do with the track ‘My eyes, my eyes’

FB: The Candi Winters track?

JSD: Thats right, although she wasn’t called Candi Winters then. Well we had the lyric you know..

FB:  the light so bright…

JSD:  ..I cannot see,  thats right, well the cafe was over in Woolwich and at that time there was lot of homeless in the area, this guy he wondered in and he came up to me, he whispered something to me that i’ll never forget.

FB: And what was it.

JSD: It’s not that I won’t tell you I just can’t, and that was it I finished my coffee, I jumped in a cab straight back to the studio, in my head I had this tune, ding-dang-ding..(FB at this point he sings the refrain from ‘My Eyes, my eyes’ at perfect pitch). Grabbed my computer, at the time we were using ‘Fi-Orchestra’ on the mac2. That was it I never looked back.

FB: There are a lot of rumours about your sound, including reports of you going on a trip to Africa are the rumours true?

JSD: Once again you know I can’t talk about these things too much, let’s just say I spent a lot of time wondering the desert alone.

FB: Is it true that you were influenced by a religious cult?

(ED: At this point Jim collapses into a fit of coughing and the interview is postponed).

Excerpt from BBC-i webdoc ‘Sad ballad of a starlet’ 2035

It was here in Daniels studio in South East London, affectionately known as  ‘Hits-ville UK’ that the sound which has now become synonymous with files like ‘A Jpeg of you’, ‘My life in your shadow’, ‘Crazy lies from your window’ and ‘’blue flowers on the heath’.

It was here the sound started, and here some short two years later that the Studio came to a tragic end, disappearances, shootings and rumours of  ancient African religious cults marred the studio’s reputation until the tragic death of Rane Joiner brought an end to the vox-a-tone sound forever.

Fileshare.web8.com

Posted 23rd May 2035

Hi, I watched a documentary on vox-a-tone last night, can anyone share me any files of these musicians.. sound so good INC.

Xory20

Replied    24th May 2035

Xory20,

Good Luck! The original of these files was destroyed following a massive fire on the server base where these were held, there are only a few left and they are jealously guarded by collectors, I doubt anyone will want to share those with Xory20… sorry.

DMax49

Replied 25th May 2035

Xory 20, DMax49 is right, although you might be able to get the samplers on the archive web though if you dig reallllly hard

FileDemon68

Replied 25th May 2035

Thanks FileDemon68, any ideas where I can start?

Xory20

Replied 25th May 2035

v-ot-_donottread_url/thegoodstuff/htm2.3

But, there are a lot of superstitions around these old files… don’t say I didn’t warn you!

FileDemon68

Rane Joiner Discography

On vox-a-tone with Jim ‘Smooth’ Daniels

‘to be with you’ – WMA, Mpeg-3, 4, Lossless and FLAC

‘my mind is not my own’ – WMA, Mpeg-3, 4, Lossless and FLAC

‘jpeg of you’– WMA, Mpeg-3, 4, Lossless and FLAC

 

‘Rane Joiner live at the Old Oak’ Live Album – WMA, Mpeg-3, 4, Lossless and FLAC

Track 1 ‘to be with you’

Track 2 ‘I saw my future and now I can’t stop (crying)’

Track 3 ‘sirus B’

Track 4 ‘my mind is not my own’

Track 5 ‘blue flowers on the heath’

Track 6 Untitled

 

‘my heart is a stranger’ Second Album – Mpeg-3, 4 & 5.

Track 1 ‘jpeg of you’ revox

Track 2 ‘Lost on the hard shoulder’

Track 3 ‘my last breath’

Track 4 ‘Cafe Eltham’

Track 5 ‘sunshine in my head, rain in my heart’

Track 6 ‘Sirius B’ Studio suite

 

With Richard Turner on ‘Qdrive’ – Mpeg 5 and filelive

‘Clouds over Campberwell’

Track 1 ‘St John’

Track 2 ‘Finding you’

Track 3 ‘Blue Flowers on the Heath’ Duet

Track 4 ‘Tears in Shooters Hill’

Track 5 ‘Lambeth (tears in my Latte)’

Track 6 ‘In Chet’s with tea and you’

 

On softmat solo –

‘Eltham sunset’ – Mpeg 5 and minD-source

‘South of the River’ – Mpeg 5 and minD-source

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